The Enemy

These pictures bring me back to my days as a stay at home mom. Oh the memories that flood my mind whenever I look back at pictures like these. I had so many joyful moments. These pictures make me smile, but they also remind me of the darkness I often felt. You might not be able to see it, but I see what lies beneath that smile. My days weren't always what I had thought they would be and in this season I began to really struggle mentally. It started with me questioning my self worth and purpose in life and from there it led to more and more doubts, fear and negativity. The more I entertained the lies in my head the more I started spiraling into darkness.

At the time I didn’t realize the battle I was fighting was not physical, but spiritual. See, I wasn't the “spiritual type” nor did I have any interest in being a spiritual person. For the majority of my life things were fine. I never saw a need or reason to do anything different from what I was doing ....until.... my world started caving in on me. The foundation I built my life on, the one I thought was solid, it ended up not being as trustworthy as I thought.

If anyone would have told me there was such thing as a spiritual battle I would have thought they were out of their mind crazy. Oh how things change when you are the one drowning in darkness. I don’t know that I would have ever believed that I had an enemy if it weren’t for the evil and darkness I experienced in my own mind. The mind is a battlefield, don't be fooled like I was. I spent too many years living prisoner to fear, doubt, an anxious mind, negativity, insecurity and believing my life had no value. I thought this was how I would have to live, but I was only being deceived.

Yes this season brought many trials, struggles, and darkness, but God used this time of trial to force me to start questioning life, my priorities, my purpose and my direction. I began digging deeper, not necessarily because I wanted to, but because I had to. I was desperate to find something that would give me value and purpose in a life that seemed so very empty.

At this time I had very little faith and to be honest my belief in God wavered. I would shy away from reading scripture mostly because I thought it was boring, but also because it took up too much of my time. I also wasn't quite sure I believed in God or not. I wanted to, but I had so many doubts and unanswered questions. The ironic thing was, what I needed most was the scriptures, but I didn't have the motivation nor did I have any interest in reading them. The enemies best weapon is to keep us from God's truth because he knows the power it holds, it says in James, “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder.” The enemy knows the strength the Lord has (the demons tremble in terror). He knows the power we get through scripture, prayer and being in relationship with the Lord.

What I needed I didn't do and essentially I was digging my own hole. It was only when I started learning and reading scripture that I began experiencing God's strength personally. It was then that I began seeing how real it really was. The scriptures were transforming my thinking, renewing my mind, giving me hope, strength and direction. That’s when the spiritual stuff started getting real for me. I saw God working in my own life and it was something tangible I could grab hold of. It helped me believe that He was real and that the battle I was fighting was not physical, but spiritual.

It was learning God's truth that open my eyes to all the lies I was believing. It was the only thing that was able to contend with the constant doubt, negativity, fear, insecurity, and lies that the enemy hurled at me daily. I had to think God’s truth, read it, pray it, listen to it, doodle it, say it daily. Doing that was the only thing I found that was able to set me free. The only way to know God’s Word is to read it, meditate on it, study and apply it to our everyday lives. I had to be committed to the process of replacing my thoughts with God’s thoughts and the more I did that the more strength I found in my mind. It has completely changed my life.

What lies are you believing? What have you wanted to change about yourself but can't? Where are you weak? What are you struggling with? Know that there is nothing God cannot do. I think the most powerful way to see His strength is in our weakness. I've experienced it and that's why I believe it so strongly. Remember, “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.” but It says in scripture that Jesus came so we could “have life, and have it to the full”. John 10:10. We don't have to be prisoner to our weakness, sin, addiction, guilt, shame, negativity, fear, and so on and so forth… The Lord can set us free. When we put our trust and faith in Jesus we have the strength to overcome obstacles that we have deemed impossible. I always thought I'd have to live prisoner to my weak mind, but in the Lord I've found my strength and so can you!
Thank you Lord ♥️

Ephesians 6:11-12
Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

1 Peter 5:8
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.