Change My Heart Lord

I sat across from my husband a couple years ago and I felt it…..

Loneliness

Our relationship felt distant. I wasn't quite sure how we had gotten to that point, but it sure seemed like it happened overnight. In reality, it was something that was happening in my heart over time. I was blinded to what was putting distance between my husband and I, but the more I went to God in scripture and through prayer the more He opened my eyes to what was pulling me away. God gently started showing me how distorted my perspective was. My focus was wrong. I was so worried about pointing out my husbands flaws that it distracted me from looking at the sin in my own heart. When I am on my pedestal, I usually find myself focusing on what my husband isn’t doing, rather than what he is doing. In these moments God tends to remind me that, first.... I need to step down from "my pedestal" or else He will do it for me. Second, I shouldn’t be so concerned about what needs to be fixed in other people, but instead I should be focusing on what needs to be fixed in my own heart.

It’s easy to do that though isn’t it, point fingers at others. Well, I shouldn’t speak for everyone, but for me, I find myself doing it without even realizing it half the time. Pointing out my kids sin and then realizing, wait a second.... I do that too. Telling my husband he needs to change and then a few days later I catch myself doing the same thing, OUCH. It can become such a distraction pointing out everyone else's flaws that we lose track of what God is trying to do in our own hearts. I often catch myself getting wrapped up in the external things and forget about the internal. I find myself focusing on fixing things or pointing out my husbands flaws, rather than focusing on what’s broken in me. I find myself seeing the flaws rather than seeing the good God is working in people’s hearts. When we see the good in people we are seeing their heart and their soul. This is where God is at work. God is focused on the heart and we should be too. God is not impressed by how well we behave, but rather what’s in our heart. God isn’t keeping track of how many times we attend church per month, or how many times we read our bible. His love is unconditional, He loves us and accepts us regardless of what we do on the outside. He doesn’t love us more if we behave “perfectly” or add a few more prayers to our daily routine. God sees our motives and sees the heart. He knows if we are doing something to glorify Him or if we are just going through the motions. He knows if we genuinely love Him or if we are just trying to follow all the “rules”.

I used to get so wrapped up in the rules, the traditions, and what church I wanted to attend, that I lost track of what mattered the most….

Love God, Love others.

I was so sucked into focusing on the external, I forgot about loving God and loving others. I would get so wrapped up in things at church that I lost track of the meaning of Christianity. Religion isn’t bad, but religion can also distract us from God. In some instances you will find churches focusing on the external, not the internal. We tend to get wrapped up in the classes we need to take, the money we need to tithe, what we are going to wear, if we are attending regularly enough, if we are praying enough or reading our bibles enough. These things are all okay, but they shouldn’t be our focus. If we get too focused on the external it distracts us from the Gospel. It distracts us from our relationship with God. We get so caught up in trying to please God by following all the religious rules and traditions that we forget that God wants us to chase Him and nothing else. He doesn’t want us to chase after perfection by following all “ the rules” or participating in all the traditions. He just wants us to love him and pursue him with our whole heart. I used to make Christianity a lot more confusing than it had to be. I remember crying to one of the pastors at my church one morning asking him, “ how do I know I chose the right religion”. I wasn’t sure if I should be Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Non-Denominational, etc. All the denominations confused me. Why were there so many different churches? Did we all believe in the same God? After I talked with the pastor I realized I was getting too focused on the external. I was so focused on all the rules and traditions of different churches that I forgot that the only thing that mattered was that I loved God with my whole heart. I realized I could choose any christian church I wanted and still worship God in a way that was pleasing to Him. Everyone’s relationship with God is going to look different on the outside, but the one thing that should look the same is the inside. God wants his people to love him, not kind of love him, but love him with their whole heart. He wants people to come to Him and admit they need Him. He wants a relationship with everyone. All you have to do is ask. He makes it that simple. Love God with all your heart and that's it, he will take care of the rest. If you choose to love God with all your heart, admit that you need him and seek after Him, that’s all He wants from you. It’s not about picking a “religion” it’s about loving God and pursuing a relationship with Him. God doesn't want us to go through the motions, He wants us to desire to be with Him and worship Him. God wants us to grow in relationship with Him. When your motives aren't pure, God knows. When you attend church to just to check it off your list or you read your bible only because you think you have to, those aren't pure motives. I used to feel that way about church, prayer and reading my bible. It felt like such an obligation. God doesn't want you to feel obligated, he wants you to do it because you want to. I could never make myself want to do any "religious things" like pray, read my bible, and even go to church. You cannot change your own heart, but God can. When I started praying that God would give me a heart that enjoyed church and found joy in reading the bible, He actually answered that prayer. It didn't happen overnight, but in time I started finding joy in the things I was doing for God. I started actually wanting to do them instead of feeling obligated to do them. That was God working in my heart! Many people try to change their behavior on their own, but that's only temporary, real change starts in the heart. When God begins to change someone's heart, soon the behaviors start changing. I used to try so hard to try and change my attitude, behaviors and my thoughts, but I never could. I would find myself thinking and doing things I didn’t want to do, but didn't have the strength to stop. I used to think if I just had enough self control I could stop doing the things I didn’t want to do, but in reality I was wasting my time. All the effort I put into changing only lasted temporarily. The only way I found real change was to seek God with my whole heart. I found that when I desperately and authentically chased after God with my whole heart, He changed my attitude, behaviors, and thoughts. I go to the scriptures not to check it off my list, but to experience God. That’s how I seek after Him. The bible is the way God communicates and teaches us. I find so much wisdom in the bible. The more I chase God, the more He reveals to me. The more God’s word sinks into my heart, the more my heart seems to change. God uses His word to change people’s hearts, not so people can attain brilliance or status. God wants his truth to be written on your heart. He wants his truths to change your life!
God wants to change people's hearts to look more like Jesus. Think about it, if everyone's heart looked like Jesus, what an amazing world we would live in. God wants to change our hearts so we are able to show His love and kindness. God wants His people to be a light in this dark world. He wants His love to shine through you. He wants to give us a heart that extends grace to others and a heart that serves joyfully. The more we seek God the more he changes us from the inside out. I often find myself praying that God would work in my heart so that I am able to show people God’s love and kindness. I want to show people Christ through the way I love others. I cannot do it in my own strength, but when God is working in our hearts we are able to,
Show love to the unlovable.
Have patience with the ones that frustrate us. Accept those that are different from us. Show kindness to those that are mean to us. Serve those that are in need. Empathize with those that are hurting. These things do not come naturally, these things come by Christ working through someone. I often pray that I will become less of me and more of Him. I want God to keep working in my heart, ripping away the sin that’s there. I want him to keep replacing what is broken in me and replacing it with Him. I want to be able to love like Christ does. I want to display Christ through the way I love others. Even though I will never do it perfectly and a lot of times I will get it wrong, I am often encouraged by the fact that the more I seek God the more capable I am of showing God’s love to others. That’s exactly what I was missing in my marriage. I was far from being able to show God’s love to my husband. Love is defined in the bible as “patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, it is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) This is the kind of love I needed to give my husband. The only way I would come close to this, was to chase after God with my whole heart. I prayed everyday that he would change my heart. As I began reading scripture and praying, slowly I was able to begin showing real love to my husband. I not only was able to be a better wife, but God also changed the way I viewed my husband. The more I sought after Christ the closer I felt to my husband. I stopped trying to fix things and just let God do the work.
When we get caught up in our behaviors or other people’s behaviors we get distracted from what matters. I was caught up in the external when it came to my marriage. I was so focused on my husband’s “behavior” or what he was doing on the outside, I forgot to appreciate his heart. As God started to work in my heart, I started seeing my husband differently. He hadn't changed, but my perspective of him did. God started opening my eyes to the beauty that was in my husband's heart. I saw it by the way he looked at our children with so much love. I saw it by how patient he was with me and the kids when we made mistakes, he extended so much grace. I saw how helping others brought him so much joy. I saw the gentleness and kindness of his heart when he snuggled and kissed our son. I saw patience and love when he painted my daughters nails and played barbies with her. I could see the pureness of his heart by the way he reacted to injustice and people being wronged. The beauty of his heart became obvious by the way he loved others. God was slowly opening my eyes and was changing my perspective. In time, I began feeling closer to my husband. God was working in my marriage and all I had to do was chase after Him!

If you want change in your life, run as fast as you can in God’s direction, stay in his truth and never stop praying!

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.” John 15:5 “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Proverbs 8:17 I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me. Psalm 14:2 The Lord looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if anyone is truly wise, if anyone seeks God.