When I started to ask myself these questions I found the only reason I wanted things like success, money, popularity, and beauty were to prove to everyone that I was enough. That I was good enough and that I had worth. I feel like my whole life revolved around trying to prove I was good enough. I found myself trying to be a good enough athlete, daughter, and friend. Now I find myself trying to prove I am a good enough mom, wife, and christian. We can get so wrapped up in trying to prove ourselves we lose track of what matters. We lose our focus and start to believe that life revolves around us, but in reality we are living for something much greater than that. We are here on earth to glorify God, not to try and prove ourselves.
A couple years ago I was shooting hoops in the gym with a friend of mine. He had asked me if I had played college basketball. I told him I played for a bit, but actually ended up quitting. He kinda laughed at me and called me a quitter. We joked for a bit, and then he asked,"Why did you quit?" I had been asked this question before, but never really had a sincere answer. In this moment my friend would get much more than he had bargained for, my answer would be much deeper than he was probably expecting! Ha-ha (poor guy) I told him when I was in college the world revolved around me. I only really cared about myself. When you choose to live for yourself you have a lot of weight on your shoulders. It is a horrible way to live. When it is all about you, failing seems so huge. Your perspective is skewed, so everything seems like such a big deal. Your failures seem overwhelming. I explained to my friend that it became too much of a burden trying to prove my worth by playing basketball, so I quit. It took me many years to realize that my motive for playing basketball in college was wrong. I only played because I thought I could somehow prove I was enough.
After my friend and I talked for a bit he asked me one last question, “what is different now?” I explained to him that I no longer live for myself anymore, but live for something much greater. There is freedom in not living to bring glory to yourself, but instead living to glorify God. When I was living for myself I was always chasing after perfection. I was always out to prove myself. I never wanted to fail. If I failed, that proved I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t good enough. When I quit basketball a part of me felt worthless. I had put my worth in something that could easily be ripped away. When you choose to find your identity in anything but Christ, you are always at risk of losing it. When you lose your identity you lose your purpose and your worth. I had found my identity as a basketball player, but when I lost it, I was left feeling alone, worthless, empty, and without purpose.
In time, God would make me realize if I continued to try and prove myself in this world, I would only continue to feel empty. I could work my way up the ladder of success and make it to the top, but when I got to the top, then what? What do I have to prove when I am at the top? What do I have that is so important? Money, prestige, fame, popularity, more stuff? Those things will never be enough. I could work my whole life trying to make it to the “top” and never really achieve anything. I could keep striving and striving, but then what? I would eventually make it to the end of my life just to realize I wasted it. I'd realize all my hard work was for nothing. I don’t want to try and gain the whole world and in the process lose my soul. I'd rather save my soul and leave the things of this world behind.
There is freedom in being able to say success, money, popularity, beauty, fame, etc. aren’t things I chase after anymore. They don’t control me or consume me. The things this world tells you to chase after are not what matters most. Those things will be gone someday and the ones who choose to worship those things will come to the end of their lives and realize they have nothing. God is the only one who knows the truth of what is important. He created us and He created this world. He tells us that a relationship with Him is the most important thing you can have in this world. I didn’t always think this was true, but God has done so much in my life there is no way I can deny it anymore. My relationship with God is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. God has given me hope, peace, joy, purpose and fulfillment and that is far more than I was ever able to find in this world.
At some point there will be something in your life that requires more from you than you can handle. You will not have the strength to deal with a difficult marriage, a difficult child, a difficult job, getting out of debt, your anxiety or depression, your addiction. Whatever it is that makes you feel unworthy and not good enough, those things don't have to define you. You are deeply loved by God and when you go to Him, He will break the chains that are keeping you captive. God can be your strength when you are weak and give you hope in a situation that seems hopeless. He can make you feel accepted just the way you are. We can have freedom when we look to Christ for our acceptance, love, and worth. When we do, we learn that trying to prove ourselves in this world is a waste of time.
The unfortunate reality is, we will never be good enough anyway, no matter how hard we try. We are all sinners and God is the only one who is perfect. There is freedom in confessing that we are broken and we will never have it all together. God makes it clear that no matter how hard we try, we will never measure up. We will never be enough without Him. We weren't meant to do life alone. We were created to be in relationship with Him. With God in our lives and the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we will finally have what we need here on earth. We can stop striving to prove we are enough, because if you think about it, what are we trying to prove anyway? It is God that we need. Life is not about proving our worth, but rather glorifying God.
God knows we are sinners, He knew we would not be able to measure up to His standard of perfection because of our sin. That is exactly why He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross. He did this so we could be in relationship with Him again. Our sin is what separates us from God. As sinners we cannot be in relationship with Him because of His holiness. Jesus Christ is the only reason we can be in relationship with God again. He paid the penalty for our sin by shedding His blood on the cross.
That is good news! That means we don’t have to strive to prove we are good enough. Christ died on the cross so we could be in right standing with God. (Thank You Jesus! )We are saved by grace, not by somehow earning our way to heaven. It is Christ who bridges the gap that separates us from God. It is through our relationship with Christ that we are reconciled with God. That is so amazing! Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." [John 14:6] With Christ we can finally find worth, hope, purpose, fulfillment and best of all salvation. We no longer have to strive to find our worth here on earth, we no longer have anything to prove. God is the only one who is worthy of praise anyway, He is the only one good enough to be called perfect!
What are you trying to prove and who are you trying to impress? This world might only accept you if you have money, or beauty, maybe prestige, fame or popularity. You can never be assured of your worth when you are looking for it in this world. The great thing about God is He doesn't have any of those requirements. He doesn't have any hoops you have to jump through. He only asks that we come to Him with a humble heart, admit we are not enough without him and ask for His help. We were not meant to do life alone. We weren’t meant to live life without God. We will never find freedom until we go to Him. He takes the most broken and messy people and gives them a brand new life. I know this, because I was that broken and messy person. God took my brokenness and made me new. He didn’t make me perfect, but He is slowly changing my focus, my perspective, and my heart. He is guiding me through this crazy life and continues to assure me that I will never lose my worth again. I am His child and because of that I will always be enough.
If you feel like you have no worth, no purpose, and that you are not good enough, remember you are deeply loved by God.
When you go to Him, you will find all that you need!
When you go to Him, you will find all that you need!
Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Mark 8:36
what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
Galatians 2:20
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Romans 10:9
If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
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