Help Me Overcome My Unbelief

It’s been months that my son has been struggling with his anxious thoughts and fears. I feel like I’ve been so strong until a few days ago. I had so much hope and was so encouraged and then BAM.... It seemed like out of nowhere, I wanted to give up. I was tired of trying, of praying, of staying discipline in the word. Over the last several months, I’ve prayed for and with my son, I’ve been teaching him scripture, and helping him focus on the positive rather than the negative. I’ve been seeking the Lord for guidance and encouragement, but for months I haven’t seen any progress. NONE, NOTHING, not even a hint God has been working. It was the lack of progress that made me grow frustrated, I started doubting, was impatient, and even wondered if God was really faithful. Is praying even working? Am I doing the best for my son, by just praying with him and leading him to the Lord for strength? Should I be doing more for him? Is God really enough? 

When it comes to trials of any sort, I often want immediate results or want my prayer to be answered promptly. Unfortunately, God doesn’t work in my time frame, He works only in His timing. I do trust that His timing is best, but it’s hard to wait. Praying for patience and endurance in times of trial is what I need to do more often. I easily get impatient when the struggle doesn't go away. At first I did well trusting, but with each month of not seeing any progress, my trust began to get shakey. That's when the doubt started creeping in. Instead of wishing the struggle to go away, I should have been focusing on what God was doing through the struggle. 

Throughout this week, this scripture has been consuming my mind, "Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this particular scripture keeps coming to mind. That’s God’s way of communicating….through the scriptures. I feel God was encouraging me as He knew I was struggling trusting Him. His reminder to “be still” has helped me to be patient and hopeful as I wait. I trust that in this struggle God is teaching, growing, and maturing me in my faith. Even though it doesn't look perfect, even though I think about giving up at times, even though it's so very hard, I trust God's still working. I trust He’s teaching me to stay the course regardless of emotion or circumstance. 

This last week has been very humbling to say the least. God has shown me that I might not trust as much as I thought I did. It was crazy how easy the doubt crept in. That doubt then led to negativity and that negativity had me heading down a slippery slope. That path was exactly where the enemy wanted me, questioning God’s sovereignty and goodness, that made me an easy target. My thoughts went from hopeful to thoughts like, “Does God really have my son and my best interest in mind? Why aren’t my prayers working? If God really cared, He'd take away the pain."

This is the path I was on a few morning ago, I let doubt creep in. I was a mess, irrational, crying, and literally was debating pulling my son from school. That day my husband reminded me that Jett needed to learn how to have inner strength and that I should not enable him. That is exactly what I needed to hear and it prompted me to pray, “God, if you are going to let my son struggle, tell me what I can do to help….. I just want to help.” It was that night after praying, that so many ideas and words of encouragement flooded my mind. 

I was literally at a loss for what to do or what to say, no ideas, no words (I swear I had said everything I could to my son), but after praying that night my mind was filled with so many great ideas. I obviously can’t take credit for that. My first idea was to prepare a necklace for my son that said, Brave, Strong, Jesus, and a heart to remind him how much both the Lord and I love him. I also sat down and had a heart to heart with him. I spoke truth to him and encouraged him to trust in the scriptures. 

The thing about my son, he has a hard time believing that he is strong. He often tells me, “ I’m not strong or brave, that’s just who I am” God’s truth pierces right through those lies. We are not weak when we trust in the Lord. I can see how my son is already believing the enemies lies. That he is weak and because he is sensitive means he cannot be strong. He often believes he’s a quitter too. He says, “I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.” 

When we start believing satan’s lies at a young age, it’s much harder to break that strong hold as we get older. Over time, the longer and longer we believe them, the more the lies become who we are. We feel weak, unworthy, not good enough, not valuable, ugly, etc. My son has been believing the lies. It has been through reading scripture and praying that my son is slowly starting to believe the truth about himself. That God made him special, with purpose, and in the Lord’s strength He can persevere, he is worthy, strong, good enough and valuable. 

My son kept telling me he was trying to be strong, but it wasn’t working, for months he said that. Finally a few nights ago God gave me different words to speak to him. I told him, “ Jett it’s not enough to try and be strong, you have to believe you are strong.” I explained to him that he had to believe deep down in his heart that the Lord could make him strong. That he couldn’t be strong unless he believed. I said, “Sweetie, you have to trust deep in your heart that God will give you the strength.” I told him he needed to stop “trying” and just DO IT” That’s with all fear, worry, or anything that stands in your way. You just face it head on, trusting in God’s promises! I often think if I waited until I "felt strong" I might be waiting for a while. Taking steps of faith regardless of emotion is the way you learn to trust in the Lord. 

My son, he was doing the same thing over and over again with no results. He was “trying” to be strong, but as he kept making excuses I asked him, “How’s that working for you?” I think he was waiting to "feel strong", but that feeling never came. If you are stuck, discouraged, in a rut, filled with anxiety or fear, ask yourself if your excuses are keeping you from stepping out in faith. God has the power to work in any circumstance, it might be your unbelief and your excuses that are keeping you from taking that step of faith that might be needed in your life. God wants us to step out in faith so He can show us His power! My son was making excuses, but excuses never get us anywhere. He just needed to believe…. and then go do it. If you are struggling with unbelief, ask God to help you with it! “Anything is possible if a person believes.” Mark 9:23

The next morning after several pep talks and prayers, I felt that maybe this time my words were sinking in a little. I felt maybe this was a breakthrough! I was right, that morning my son walked into school with a kind of peace I had never seen before. I got to witness with my own eyes, God at work. My son went to school for the first time in months without being physically ill or crying so hard that he was shaking. He literally had NO tears. In that moment as I waved goodbye to my son, I was praising God. There was a confidence about him that could only be from the Lord. 

What a blessing it was to see my son start learning how to trust in the Lord. What a blessing it was that the Lord showed me a glimpse of what He was doing in my son’s life. It sparked so much hope in me! I shouldn’t need to see progress or change in my son to have hope, but I am so grateful for the reassurance, what a precious gift from the Lord. What an encouragement it was. It gave me hope that God was still working and that I should keep doing what I am doing, which is leading my kids to the Lord and helping them learn how to trust and rely on Him for strength!

When we experience God personally, that’s when trust grows. Both my son and I were struggling with our unbelief, but the most precious thing was, God showed up in the midst of it. It’s taken many years to learn how to trust and believe in a God I cannot see, but God has been patient with me. He is drawing me closer and teaching me how to trust. That’s also what He is doing through my son’s struggle. It’s that testing of our faith that will give us endurance and inner strength for this life. 

I want my kids to have that inner strength that is spoken of in scripture, I want them to trust in the Lord and experience what He can do in their lives personally. I’m sure this struggle isn’t over and there will be many more to come, but what a precious gift from the Lord to get a glimpse of how He has been working in my son’s heart. It was so encouraging to see my son learning how to trust in God and His faithfulness! It's that belief and trust in the depth of your soul that is needed in order to experience the Lord do the things you deem impossible!

The righteous person faces many troubles,
but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. 
Psalm 34:19

“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” Ephesians 3:15-17. 

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” 
Mark 9:23-24