I love this picture of my daughter. I love how she is so true to who she is. I always joke about her quirkiness or how odd she is, but I love that she can be herself. She doesn’t hold back and she has never let the fear of what people might think, stop her from being herself….Okay well… Maybe she might want to hold back a little bit because I did have to remind her last week that farting at Grandma and Grandpas dinner table might not be appropriate, Hahaha!! Maybe she is a lil too comfortable......if that's possible 🙄😬🤣 ....But anyways my point is, she loves herself and she sees her worth. She is confident and believes that she is loved. She has this inner confidence in her that I long to have some day.
I took this picture at the Children’s Museum as I watched my daughter write things about Jesus, draw crosses and sing songs like “Jesus Loves Me” with no care in the world. She wasn’t worried about what people might be thinking or how she may be coming across to others, she was in her own little world. When I watch her it encourages me and reminds me what freedom looks like. This may change as she gets older, but how she lives right now encourages me to seek that kind of freedom. I feel like a lot of her strengths are my weaknesses.
See, I struggle with wanting people to like me, wanting to be accepted, I also care about what people think of me (I HATE those things about myself) At times I lack inner confidence and knowing my self worth. This summer I have hit some lows and when I am struggling it is easy to forget the truth about myself. When I forget the truth I resort to believing the lies. The one lie that is so easy for me to believe when I am struggling is that I am not worthy. I’ve struggled my whole life questioning my self worth so when I fall into a funk that's the first thing I tend to struggle with.
The world makes it seem as if worth can be earned. That maybe you can earn more worth by your outer appearance, how successful of career you have, how popular you are, or maybe how much money you make.The world tells us there is a hierarchy. The athletes, celebrities, the famous, they seem to have more worth.The poor, the homeless, the addicts, they seem to have less worth. The truth is everyone has equal worth. We are all created in God's image and that gives us our worth. We don't earn it. It is given to us. There is only one person who has the authority to give us our worth and that is Jesus Christ. This is the truth....but knowing the truth and believing the truth are far different.
It’s crazy how easy it is to start relying on counterfeit stuff to feel worthy. I fall into that trap often. I have a driven personality and I love working for things and striving for my goals, but often times that can backfire. In my striving I sometimes find that my motives change. I will start something with good intentions and a pure heart, but how easy that can turn into me trying to prove my worth. The thing is, I cannot prove myself by climbing a “spiritual ladder” or a “success ladder” or a “beauty ladder”. Worth doesn't come and go or become less or greater. Worth isn't earned.
As I struggle, it is so hard to trust the truth about myself. It's crazy how I can trust for months and then BAM, I sink into a funk and then start questioning my worth and purpose. Even though the pain is fierce, I’ve seen the blessings that have come from my struggles. I love how God can take the ugly and make it beautiful. The one thing I do trust right now is that God is good and faithful, so I pray He uses my struggle to produce something good in my heart, if it be humility, love, patience, empathy, or kindness what a blessing that would be.
Without God's truth and guidance I would be completely lost. I find hope in prayer and truth in the scriptures. I continue to seek Jesus even though my mood and feelings are still BLAH. It's not as engaging or enjoyable as it usually is, but I still keep fighting through those feelings and keep seeking. Doing this has helped me persevere. I used to fall into horrendous funks and not know what to do or how to persevere. I just didn't have the strength. There were times I could hardly get out of bed in the morning. When I wasn't seeking the Lord I had no guidance, no hope, no truth and no strength. Even though the funks are still painful and raw, they don't keep me captive anymore.
The thing about faith is, it isn't a bullet proof vest, you still feel the pain .. Faith doesn't prevent bad from happening or struggles from coming, but what it does do...is it gives me the strength and hope I need to fight each day. It might not feel like a whole lot when I am down, but it's just the right amount to keep me pushing forward, so I don't give up. Without faith I was always a prisoner to my weaknesses, but now I no longer feel captive. Fighting in my own strength was never enough, that's why I need the Lord. He is the reason I have the strength to persevere ♥️
The praise is Yours, You're the One I bow before
Glory and praise, Power and strength Worthy is the Lamb of God........Hallelujah
Isaiah 40:31
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
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