I have a girlfriend that I've been studying the Bible with for about three years now. She is someone I would have never imagined being a close friend with. Why, you might ask? Well first of all, she's in her late 70's. I am forty years younger than her. The huge age gap would be one reason to think there might not be an opportunity for a strong friendship. Secondly, she’s quite feisty, which intimated me at first. I’m pretty soft hearted and often our personalities would clash. She doesn’t hesitate to tell you what she's thinking, YIKES ... haha!… It’s amazing how the Lord can bring two unlikely people together and connect them in a way that seems impossible.
My sweet friend doesn't have text or email and so I usually call her landline each week ! Recently, I called her worried that maybe the isolation was getting to her. I know of a few things that might be frustrating her right now, one being that she works out diligently every morning at 5:00 am because of her arthritis and now she cannot. If she doesn’t swim, she gets painfully stiff and it is hard for her to walk. I thought she might be discouraged because now she has to use a cane. I was surprised that when she picked up she was more chipper than ever. What the heck, I thought to myself!?! Haha!! I asked her how things were going and her response shocked me.
She explained that her husband and her had always had sort of a different marriage. That they didn’t communicate much because her spouse was either working in his office or finding something else to keep him busy. They lived in the same home, but lived separate lives. She went on to explain with joy and laughter, that the last month during this time of quarantine her and her husband have been walking every day for about two hours and they talk the WHOLE entire time. She said they’ve talked more in the last month than they have in fifty years of marriage. We both couldn't help but giggle with excitement.
When I got off the phone, I wept. The tears were tears of joy. Whenever I witness God at work, I cannot help it…. the tears just overflow. My sweet friend was not focused on the pain from her arthritis, the isolation, or all the things she was missing out on while being quarantined, but instead she saw the good. I don’t think this perspective naturally happened for my friend. I know her well and her natural tendency is to point out the negative. I don’t say that as an insult, it is human nature to focus on our pain, the hardships, or the negative. I say that to make a point, the Lord can open our eyes to what our negativity blinds us from. I saw this happening in my friend, I saw the Lord working in her perspective and it was amazing! The joy, peace and laughter that filled our phone call is something I will never forget! It was that powerful!
See, I have always been a pessimistic person. I used to defend my negativity by saying, “I’m just being realistic”. My husband always seemed to see the glass half full and I always wondered how he could naturally do that. Me on the other hand, no matter how hard I tried, I could not see the good or the positive in a hard situation. After the honeymoon stage ;) my husband began to point out my negativity. I would always get defensive because I didn’t see it as negative. That perspective was what I was used to, I didn't realize there was any other way of seeing things.
Year after year I began to notice it more and I desperately wanted to change, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t change my own perspective. That was a weak area of mine and I couldn't seem to overcome it. I would see little changes for a short time or could temporarily muster up enough positivity to get through certain things, but it took A LOT of effort and it was exhausting. It never really lasted either, especially when the chaos hit. I would absolutely crumble when the stress or hard times came. I began realizing how easy it was to fall back into old habits and so quickly..UGH....It was not only frustrating, but devastating. All that work and nothing really changed. I lived that way for most of my life.
As I have learned to trust and rely on the Lord, I’ve noticed how drastically my perspective has changed…. And without the grueling effort I used to have to put in. It used to feel like such a chore, but now the Lord does the work, I just keep my eyes on Him. I saw this same thing happen with my dear friend. Her perspective and focus was so positive. She never even mentioned her painful arthritis, her having to walk with a cane and all the other reasons she could be angry and bitter. I saw what she was left with and it’s only that of which the Lord can provide…. Peace and joy in the midst of a very hard time. We laughed, we joked and we got to experience the amazing goodness of the Lord.
When I am not clinging to the Lord and am not in scripture or prayer, it is so easy for me to become negative and worrisome. I sometimes get so overwhelmed by my circumstances that the only thing I can do is cry tears of frustration and sorrow. When I get to this point the Lord reminds me, " You need me Kara, come back to me." I am grateful that the Lord never lets me get too far from Him. He is constantly teaching me how to dependent on Him. I lose my focus at times, I doubt and question, but the Lord is so patient with me. It has been in my trials, heartache and suffering that I've experienced the Lord's power the most. He is quite the show off in how He can effortlessly transform the mind and the heart!
As I learn to surrender to the Lord and seek Him, I've seen miraculous things happen not only in myself, but the hearts and minds of friends that seek Him too ... I'm always left in complete Awe!
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5
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