I know some of you might be feeling anxious or fearful from the uncertainty that this time brings (Covid 19 Pandemic). Believe me, I understand how easy it is to experience fear and worry when things feel out of control or when uncertainty creeps in. ….My thoughts often turn to...Oh no, what now? What’s next? Is everything going to be okay? I have lived most of my life as a fearful and anxious person, far more fearful than the average person. I couldn’t seem to ever find a healthy or clear perspective and it seemed impossible to stop worrying. The fear was debilitating.
I know this sounds strange to some, but others who have a tendency to worry, probably understand what I’m saying. It’s been years now, but I’ve seen how the Lord has worked in this area of my life and my heart is filled with gratitude! Let me get something straight though, do I still experience fear, YES.. Do I sometimes worry, YES… but the difference now is, the fear doesn't consume me daily, it is no longer debilitating, and now…. I know who to go to when I need an eternal perspective or help with my fearful thoughts …. “I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2
I haven’t always seen the Lord in the right perspective though.... and definitely did not see Him as my "helper". If I'm honest, I used to get more frustrated by scripture than encouraged by it. For example, I would read a verse like Joshua 1:9... which for most people I assume would be an encouraging verse, but for me not so much.
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
I would read this verse and think to myself…...
“Well that sounds easy.. NOT…” or...
“Is God really with me, doesn’t really feel like
He is” or...
“How in the heck am I supposed to just stop
being afraid? Thanks for the help God.”
See, I was always trying to stop myself from being afraid, yet could never do it in my own strength. Talk about frustrating.... I think that’s probably why I felt so discouraged. I thought verses like Joshua 1:9 were telling me it was my job to somehow stop worrying and stop being afraid, that somehow I should be able to do that in my own strength…..But is it really possible to not be afraid if you are a fearful person? It’s like telling an alcoholic not to drink or telling someone who has a temper to be patient. Easier said than done. We often know what we need to do, we just can’t do it in our own strength. I’ve seen that pattern in my life multiple times now.
If you read Matthew 6:34 it says something similar to Joshua 1:9 ...“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” Here is another scripture that I would think.. “UGH, that absolutely does NOT help me at all.”
But when you read the verse before that (v.33), it tells us how it is possible for us to not worry…. And it doesn't say do it in your own strength or muster up enough courage to not be afraid .. it says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” To sum up what I got from that verse is this...if I wanted to see any change happen in regards to my fear and worry, I wouldn’t be able to do it in my own strength. I would need the Lord’s help. I would need to do what v.33 said, “Seek the Kingdom of God”.... or in other words seek the things of God as a priority over the things of the world.
See, I used to only read the popular scriptures...You know, the ones that make it on the t-shirts, coffee cups, bumper stickers, signs, etc. I didn’t really care to read my bible, it was easier to just read the scriptures that were available to me without having to work too hard, but if I’m completely honest, those scriptures didn’t always comfort or encourage me much.
“Faith can move mountains”.. I’d think...NOT MY FAITH.. Yikes…
How bout this one...“With God all things are possible”...
For this one I'd think "Really… NOT for me…Lots of things are very IMPOSSIBLE for me"
I’m serious... I wish I was joking, but I would really think these things. That’s probably why scripture annoyed me. It wasn’t until I started digging into all of scripture and reading the bible in its entirety instead of picking and choosing verses, that I began to fully understand. I began seeing that it wasn’t the scriptures I needed, it was the Lord that I needed most. The scriptures didn’t mean much to me when I wasn't seeking the Lord first.
As I learn to truly put God first, I find I am able to experience what verse 33 says “and he will give you everything you need.” The Lord wants us to seek Him first. The bible provides for us a way to not only know the Lord personally (His attributes), but to learn how to trust Him. The scriptures by themselves never gave me any comfort, but as I grow closer to the Lord and deeper in my understanding of who He is, I’ve been able to experience all that He has to offer.
I think it all boils down to motive. I used to read the scriptures for all the wrong reasons. I used to do it out of guilt or because I wanted something. I would read it when I was fearful thinking it would magically make me less fearful, but it never did. I had no interest or motivation to know the Lord more personally, I just wanted what He had to offer. I wanted things like His peace, patience, joy, contentment, help, comfort, etc, but I didn’t want Him. Mostly because it felt like a chore and I didn’t have the interest or motivation to seek Him.
It wasn’t until I went to the scriptures with a heart that sincerely wanted to know the Lord and grow closer to Him, that I began experiencing the bible differently. My eyes were open to a whole new perspective. The scriptures came alive for me and I began understanding things that seemed so foreign to me in the past. I felt my debilitating fear diminish, my burdens lifted, I’ve felt His contentment and peace that surpasses any sort of understanding. It is utterly amazing, almost unbelievable what the Lord can do when we seek Him first. It’s sometimes weird to write about because it feels surreal sometimes. Like… How did He do that…or no one would believe me if I told them….
I know I don’t have the power to take away people’s fear and worry, but I do know someone who does. I want to encourage you to draw near to the Lord. He is a personal and relational God and He waits patiently for anyone who wants to know Him, to come to Him. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
It was during a time of desperation and utter darkness that I began seeking the Lord wholeheartedly. When we feel lost, alone, desperate, weak, in utter darkness or we are struggling….. we have a choice. We can work in our own strength to help ourselves or we can choose to seek the Lord and give ourselves over to Him saying, “Help me Lord, I need you”. I chose to do it in my own strength for most of my life and the burden was heavy. It was finally when I surrendered to the Lord that I understood what it meant to have “rest for your soul” ❤️Thank you Lord!
Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
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