Power of Christ

Several years ago now, I spiraled into a very dark place mentally. I will admit… I was not prepared for that AT ALL. I didn’t think I was capable of struggling that severely in my mind…My naivety made me more vulnerable. I thought I was immune somehow and when the darkness came, I was not prepared. The battle in the mind is real. I was never really aware of that until I started struggling, but the one thing I have learned, which I still do regularly, is paying attention to what I’m dwelling on and what I'm allowing into my mind. We have a choice in what we watch, listen to, and read. I have to protect my mind by choosing not to watch certain shows, the news, or listen to things that instill fear, paranoia or worry.

I have realized how important it is to guard our minds. There are often times when we may not be able to control what goes into our minds. I’ve experienced that happen too. I’ve caught myself dwelling on things that I have no idea how they popped into my mind. It’s crazy how that can happen, but I still have a choice in allowing them to stay or not. If I recognize my thoughts are causing fear and worry, why do I keep dwelling on those thoughts? The things I am often fearful and worried about, I have no control over anyways… so why would I torture myself by dwelling on things out of my control? It doesn't matter how much we dwell on the "what if's", or the thoughts that cause us worry... It's not going to change anything.. I have been more conscious of this and I have stopped being so passive in allowing thoughts to stay that don't belong, I started fighting back.

This discipline has become part of my day to day life. When I was struggling mentally, I had never done this before. Doing this daily has helped me tremendously in fighting the battle in my mind. The idea is not my own, the Lord says in scripture, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8. The Lord also warns us about guarding our minds.

Sometimes I cannot turn off my mind and I cannot just switch my focus or stop thinking on something that is worrisome. When I cannot seem to get rid of the fearful and worrisome thoughts I go to the Lord. I not only pray about it, but I go to scripture and immerse myself in the Truth. I have experienced personally how God can use scripture to teach us, give us strength, comfort us, and provide a healthy perspective.

The darkest time of my life was when I struggled mentally, but I often find myself thanking God for all that He has done in my life through the pain and darkness I experienced. He has used it to do so much good in my life. It has humbled my heart, grown me closer to Him and grown me in my trust. It has shown me the importance of being disciplined in my mind. It has produced empathy in my heart. It has helped me teach my children when they are struggling. It has softened my heart and I am more understanding. It taught me perseverance and that real strength comes from the Lord. I could go on and on...

I used to be so weak in my mind, but with the Lord's guidance and constant help, I can be strong! I need Him daily, hourly, minute by minute. During this time of uncertainty, I know how easy it is for fear and worry to creep in. I know my mind would be filled with worrisome thoughts about all the what if's, but as I draw near to the Lord, I have experienced His peace. I make the choice daily to go to Him, if I didn't... I'd be a complete mess right now.. my natural tendency is to worry.. That's always been my weakness, but I experiene the Lord's stength and power most in my weakness. It's amazing.. Thank you Lord ❤️🙌

2 Corinthians 12:9

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.