When I am Afraid, I Will Trust in You Lord

I always try and make an effort to be home before the kids get out of school so I can sit out on the front porch and wait for them! Last week as they came huffing and puffing up our awful hill, I started goofing around with them. My son, who is always up for joking around, was definitely not in the mood. I said to him, "come on buddy, I have incredibly funny jokes, why aren't you laughing at them?" 😉😂....But as he got closer I realized something was definitely wrong. As he approached the front porch I asked him, “ What’s going on my love? I can tell something is up....” He is just like his Momma with his sensitive heart and when I asked him that question his eyes welled up and the tears overflowed.
After chatting with him, I found out that a middle school kid was giving him a hard time after school as he was biking home. The kid supposedly said some unpleasant things to him and then hit him upside the head. This incident was pretty devastating for my son. As an adult I could put things in perspective, but for a nine year old (sensitive kid), this was quite scary and intimidating.... he was pretty shook up. This happened on a Friday, but when Monday rolled around and my son was getting ready for school he told me he no longer wanted to ride his bike to school. He wouldn’t admit it at first, but after some prying I finally got him to admit that he was afraid that something would happen again with the middle school kid.
That darn fear creeping in again, ugh. I understand there was a reason to be a bit anxious or afraid, my momma heart wanted to protect him by driving him, but I also didn't want to allow him to let his fear control him. I went back and forth with my decision to make him bike or just drive him. I explained to him that when I was his age I wish I wouldn’t have allowed fear to rule my life all the time. The more I listened to the fear the more insecure and anxious I became. I went on to tell him that circumstances in life will be difficult and can cause us to feel anxious or afraid, but even so, we have a choice to rest in the Lord instead of focusing on the storms, suffering, pain, and unpleasant circumstances that life will bring.
I’ve learned much about overcoming fear with faith over the last several years and I wanted to share with my son how the Lord has been able to take me from gripping fear into a place of faith, strength, and peace. I know very well how paralyzing fear can be and I wanted to explain to him that he has a choice every time he encounters a difficult situation, he can allow the circumstance, the fear, the worry, to consume him or he can choose to trust in the Lord’s promises. Trust that the Lord is walking every step with him and that He will provide for him in the ways that he needs.
My kids and I always try to get in our bible study time before school and that week we were studying Philippians. We had picked this study the week before, which I think is neat because God had already planned to use it to encourage my son before the incident even happened. As we dug into scripture my son was most encouraged by the fact that Paul was writing this letter (Philippians) from prison and he was not only joyful, but was not full of fear. My son was shocked that Paul still had joy and strength regardless of the awful situation he was in. I told my son, “Buddy, Paul is no different from you and as the Lord grows you in your faith, you will see how the Spirit can work in you too!” I told him it was not Paul who was strong, it was the Spirit within him that was. I reminded him,“ The same Spirit lives in you sweetie.”
My desire is for my kids to learn how to rely on the Lord and let Him lead the way. The Spirit's way is a path of surrender, although difficult, I know it leads to fullness of life and that's why I desire this for my children. I know my son was in agony and distress all week, but I knew that the Lord would use it for good. [“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28]
In the last several years, I have come to realize that my idea of good is often very different from God’s idea of good, which clears up some of the confusion I used to have with this scripture. The good Paul is talking about isn’t what we might initially think. It is talking about the Lord promising His children that He will conform them into the image of Christ, for the purpose of bringing Himself glory. I often have to be reminded that my idea of “good” doesn’t compare to God’s idea of good. God is all-knowing, all-wise, and all-powerful, so when He promises that He will work all things together for good, that doesn’t mean we will acquire all that we want or desire. His plan is always FAR better than ours!
A whole week passed and the kids and I stayed in our morning routine of studying Philippians, praying before school and encouraging each other. Each morning after our routine, I would send them off on their bikes. It was heartbreaking watching my son get on his bike every morning with tears in his eyes. I know I could have driven him so he wouldn’t have to endure the uncomfortableness, but I chose to have him face his fear. Every morning after the kids took off on their bikes, I would pray to the Lord….. “Do your work, I trust you!”.... Even though the decision was so incredibly hard for me, what happened at the end of that week far outweighed the heartache that I experienced at the beginning of the week. I am not even exaggerating, my son came home Friday after school a totally different kid. We talked and reflected on the week and how scared he was and he actually laughed and said, “Mom, I realized that I was scared for no reason. I don’t even really know why I was so scared, but I’m not anymore!” He even went as far as to joke about the whole situation! SAY WHAT!?!
My son prayed all the way to school and in doing that he discovered what it looked like to be dependent on the Lord [Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you 1 Peter 5:7] God's Spirit not only guides, but also empowers! I saw the strength my son had that was not his own. It was truly a blessing to see what God was doing! I watched him take something terrible and work it for good and for His glory! An experience that could have affected my son for a long time, God used to grow him and teach him. [“When I am afraid, I will trust in You. I praise the Word of God. I have put my trust in God. I will not be afraid. What can only a man do to me?” Psalm 56:3-4,]
Right now in our country there is not only a lot of fear that is consuming people, but we are seeing a lot of hatred, divisiveness, and darkness. Even though this is a very tough time for the country, it is nothing new. Evil, corruption, hatred, and injustice have always been present. This world is broken and sinful and because of its brokenness we will never be able to escape the pain, sorrow and suffering that will come.
......But what the enemy meant for evil The Lord can use for good in order to display His own power and glory to the world! I used to think I could escape the suffering and pain or that somehow things would get better in the world, but scripture makes it clear that we can’t escape it. This truth used to make me feel hopeless, worried and depressed, but now I have discovered that with Christ I can always have hope. I no longer put my hope in this world, I honestly don’t know how I would survive a time like this without the Lord. Throughout the chaos, dysfunction, and instability, the Lord is the One who has provided for me hope when I feel despair, guidance when I am feeling lost, comfort when I am fearful and peace that surpasses understanding.
If you feel the heaviness of this world, you aren’t alone and you don’t have to carry the burden all by yourself. When we draw near to Christ we will experience Him in life-changing ways .“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

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