I’ve always been a deep thinker. My deep thoughts started as a child. I hated when the thoughts would come. I remember wishing I would only think about things on the surface, like what dress I was going to get for the party, or what new fitness program I wanted to start. It would've been much easier than having to deal with all the deeper thoughts I was experiencing. The thoughts haunted me for years. I would feel so fearful and anxious every time they would come. I questioned my existence and purpose from a very young age. It would consume me not knowing what would happen after I died or what my purpose on earth was. I wondered why I was even born if I was just going to die. I wondered what I would do with my life. As a very young child I remember lying awake at night, my mind would be spinning and I would cry myself to sleep thinking of death, eternity, and the purpose of life. This was the first time I remember feeling lost and alone. I wasn't able to shake the deep thoughts until college. It wasn't until I found answers that I finally felt at peace.
Most people don’t allow themselves to think deep and unfortunately most don’t want to talk about it. It took thirty years before I was able to find people who wanted to talk with me about stuff that wasn’t on the surface. You could imagine the loneliness that set in, I had no one I could talk to about my deep thoughts. As much as I tried to run from my thoughts, they never left me. They continued to follow me through junior high, high school, and finally college. It wasn’t until I found Christ that I found my answers.
The world has so many things to distract us from God. We have entertainment, hobbies, careers, there are so many things that we can fill our time with other than God. The other stimuli make us less sensitive to what God might be doing in our hearts and in our minds. We get caught up in so many other things, we brush of the deeper thoughts we might be having. I tried for so long to brush of the thoughts. I didn’t want to think about the purpose of life. I didn’t want to think about death. As much as I tried to get rid of the thoughts, they never left me. I didn’t understand it at the time, but later I would discover, it was God who was seeking me. He was chasing after me. His love was persistent, I was his daughter. He patiently sought after me until I was finally ready to surrender my life to Him.
It wasn’t until I decided to surrender, that my deep thoughts stopped causing me so much fear. When I finally gave my life to Christ, God was finally able to comfort me and give me a sense of peace I had never experienced before. Now when I allow myself to think on a deeper level it is no longer scary, it is how I am able to connect with God on a more personal level. I know longer shy away or run from my deep thoughts, but instead welcome them. It's when I go deep,that I find God.
I once was lost, but now I am found!
Luke 19:10
For the son of Man [Jesus] Came to seek and save those who are lost
Psalm 139:7-8
I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.
This video is an adaptation of the poem "Hound of Heaven" This adaptation helps understand the power of God's love, His constant watch, and most of all His faithful seeking after His lost people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&=&v=RXlgz4aBKt8&=&app=desktop