I ran into a friend of mine recently, one I don’t typically get to see on a regular basis. I hadn’t seen her in years, but through social media we still sort of know what’s going on in each other's lives. Right after greeting each other, she expressed her excitement about how busy I had been doing art lessons, face painting and paint parties.
She said, “ I remember when our bible study was praying for you, it’s so neat to see what the Lord has done!”
Let’s rewind here a bit, I want to take you back about six years…..
In this season of life, my kids were finally at the age where they were both off at school all day, which meant I no longer had anyone to take care of during the day. I had been a stay at home Mom for years and this new change left me feeling lost, insecure and full of fear. I didn’t know what my life would “look like” in the coming years and the fear of the future consumed me. I was overwhelmed by the thought of getting a resume together, filling out applications, getting a job, and what terrified me the most was the thought of doing something “different”. It was a normal thing for me to be filled with fear and anxiousness every single day. This was when I remember asking the women in my bible study if they could pray for me, this was the prayer request my friend was talking about.
First, let me get something straight ……
In bible study it’s pretty common practice to provide a prayer request, so I gave my request because that is what you “did”, I didn’t really believe that the Lord would answer it….I knew I needed the Lord’s guidance and help and it was a genuine request, but my faith was lacking and I didn’t really think prayer would help. I submitted my request regardless. The beautiful thing is, those ladies who were praying for me, they believed the Lord answered prayers. They were strong women of faith and when I was full of doubt, they believed…. And so they prayed.
I really can’t even remember specifically what I asked them to pray for, but I remember really wanting to find work at that time. I wanted to find a job that I enjoyed, but had no clue what to do. I remember expressing my thoughts about feeling lost and confused and had no idea what was next for me. When I ran into my friend she reminded me of this prayer request and the fact that all the ladies were praying for me. I had forgotten about that…. She reminded me of how God answers prayers and how blessed I was with my art “business”... all that got me thinking….and as I was driving home that day all the memories came flooding back to that season of life when I felt so lost, alone and utterly terrified of the future. I began thinking about how I had gotten where I was and how the Lord had so generously provided for me, far more than I deserve and far more than I could ever fathom. I was so filled with gratitude that the tears just kept overflowing! I cried all the way home.
Many people in the last couple years have asked me if what I’m doing now with art lessons, face painting and canvas painting was a dream of mine and that’s such a hard question to answer. If you want the honest truth, no…. It wasn't a dream or a goal of mine, but only because I never imagined I could actually do what I am doing right now. I never thought I was good enough or talented enough to do it. I would have never thought anyone would ever actually pay me to face paint, teach their children art or lead them in a canvas painting. What I do now, no, it was never a dream of mine because it was too unrealistic and unthinkable. Literally, like who thinks this stuff up? I know I didn’t….
I remember it all started when I was a part time art teacher at a private school. A co-worker had asked me if I would lead a painting session for her daughter’s birthday party and she said she would pay me. Say what!? 
Why would you want me to do that, I thought? Isn’t there someone more qualified? I tried to convince her that I wasn’t the woman for the job….Next was a friend asking me, “Have you ever thought about face painting?” I’ll pay you to face paint for an event I am having...
Why would you want me to do that, I thought? Isn’t there someone more qualified? I tried to convince her that I wasn’t the woman for the job….Next was a friend asking me, “Have you ever thought about face painting?” I’ll pay you to face paint for an event I am having...No freaking way, not again… ME!?! Come on, you could pay a professional….I again tried to convince her not to hire me…I was literally thinking these people were nuts….
Last year it happened again, “Kara, have you ever considered doing private art lessons? We would pay you to teach our children.” It was sort of surreal at this point, still is at times….I couldn’t believe what was happening. I couldn't get past why these people were asking me. Every time someone would ask, my immediate thoughts were consumed with doubt, insecurity and fear. Part of me wanted to do it, but I was afraid that if they hired me they would be disappointed. I truly felt unqualified and that I wouldn’t meet their expectations. I was so afraid of not being “good enough”.
The ONLY reason I chose to go down this path was because of the quiet voice I would hear in my mind and in my heart that kept telling me, “Trust me Kara, step out in faith.. I’ve got you!” Deep within my soul I knew that was the Lord's voice leading me. It was noisy and chaotic in my head, the fear and anxiety was horrendous and the insecurity and doubt wouldn’t go away. It was so hard to hear the Lord’s voice in the midst of all the emotions and doubt, but when I would “be still”, listen and be in the scriptures and in prayer, I’d “hear” His voice saying, “You can trust me Kara, I have plans for you”... I didn’t hear Him audibly (good thing because that would straight freak me out, haha) but I have learned that I can hear him “speak” through scripture, prayer and through other people. I slowly began stepping out in faith and following where I thought the Lord was leading me. It would have never been a path I would have chosen for myself, nor one I would ever think I was brave enough to take.
The two passions I remember having since as far back as elementary school, are art and teaching. I would have thought that was a coincidence a few years back, but now I see the Lord’s hand in it!! I see it…. I see what you’ve done Lord ….
It’s almost as if the Lord already had this planned out for me 
It’s as if he already knew the plans He had for me… Like maybe, just maybe… All I had to do was step out in faith, and follow Him.
It’s as if he already knew the plans He had for me… Like maybe, just maybe… All I had to do was step out in faith, and follow Him.What I have experienced the last few years, I hope is an encouragement to you!
I’ve learned that the Lord DOES answer prayers, maybe not in the way we expect, but He does hear our prayers! I’ve also learned that the Lord’s plans are far better than our own, He knows us far better than we know ourselves!
If you are feeling lost, without purpose, and insecure, the Lord is the best Guide!
If you are full of fear and anxiety or you feel that you are worthless or not good enough, I felt the same way and still do at times…But you do not have to let those lies define you, nor do you have to let the fear keep you captive.
In Jesus there is freedom and I’ve witnessed God answer prayers that I thought impossible. I’ve seen His faithfulness in my life and what He is capable of. I was truly a doubter and a skeptic, but as I’ve walked this journey with the Lord for several years now, I’ve only seen His faithfulness and the way he provides all that I need. It’s truly getting harder and harder to doubt Him. He has provided strength when I am weak, confidence when I’ve been insecure, guidance when I’ve felt lost, truth when the lies have crept in, comfort when I've been lonely, love when I feel worthless and hope when things feel hopeless.
I would have missed out on all the blessings the Lord has showered me with the last few years if I would have given into my fear and insecurity. In the Lord's strength I stepped out in faith, kicking and screaming no doubt, but still I stepped out. I didn’t want to, but in my obedience the Lord has shown me how He can provide, far more than I could ever imagine! 
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11