Resurrection Power

I’ve heard the song “Resurrection Power” by Chris Tomlin so many times, but this last week every time I heard it, it brought me to tears. It was as if I was hearing it for the first time. The tears were of gratitude and praise for the Lord, because I remember very vividly the darkness I used to live in just a short time ago. It was the Lord’s resurrection power that walked me out of darkness and into the light. That was what the song kept reminding me of, it reminded me of how God has completely changed my life. I put my faith in Christ several years ago, in college actually, but trusting in the Lord and experiencing His strength in your life is different. I didn’t realize that because I never actually needed the Lord’s strength for anything. I used to always stay in my comfort zone, never had any real problems, did only what came easy to me, and if anything got hard I’d quit. I never needed God’s strength because I never really struggled, but that would soon change when a few years ago I found myself in a situation that only God had the power to get me out of.

All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. I planned on being a stay at home mom for as long as I can remember, but my dream would soon be shattered as I stepped into motherhood. I would soon find out that it would be my temper that would hold me back from being the woman and mom I dreamt of being. It all started with just a little yelling here and there, but month after month the anger began to consume me. It snowballed into something ugly and the sad thing about it was, I didn’t even realize that I was being led into darkness. I didn’t realize how deep of a pit I would find myself in. I thought a little anger here or there was fine, I started letting things slide and the more desensitized I got to the sin in my heart and in my life, it slowly began to consume me. The negativity, the depression, the darkness, the anger, I couldn’t free myself from it. It’s hard to explain, but it was as if I didn’t have control over my own emotions. My anger actually had control over me. I understand that people lose their temper, we all do sometimes, but this was different….my anger was out of control. This was the first time in my life I was in a situation I couldn’t get out of in my own strength. Believe me I tried everything, classes, books, new parenting techniques, you name it I tried it. I did that for a couple years, but nothing ever seemed to work. My anger just kept getting worse. I could never free myself from the darkness.

One day after completely losing it, I looked at myself and was disgusted with who I had become. The worst thing about it was...I didn’t know how to change. I had tried time and time again to get it together, to get my life together, to figure things out, but time and time again I failed miserably. I have never felt so broken, weak and helpless in my entire life and would often cry myself to sleep. All I wanted to do was be a good mother, but my anger was all consuming. It was impossible to be the mother I needed to be to my children living the way I was living. What an awful and dark place to be. Now I realize that my darkness was the Lord’s mercy in disguise, because what I thought was the worst thing in my life turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life. I cannot think of anything better than experiencing God like I did at my weakest. It was in my brokenness that I would be able to experience the Lords power in my life. It would be at my rock bottom that God would teach me how to seek Him. If it weren’t for the darkness I was in, I would have never experienced God’s power. I wouldn’t trust, cherish, and long to seek the Lord like I do now. I look back and even though the suffering was dark, I would never take it away. It was so worth it, because experiencing God walk me from darkness into light is by far the best experience of my life, nothing else comes close in comparison.

When I was at my rock bottom I had never picked up a bible before, never prayed a genuine prayer that wasn’t rehearsed and doubted God more than I believed in Him. So it’s not as if I was the “perfect candidate” to experience God. I was drowning in sin and darkness, so pretty sure my qualifications were lacking to say the least. Me the doubter the unqualified, the sinner, it would be me that God would grab hold of and in His power completely change my life. That is the resurrection power that the song talks about. That is the resurrection power that we have because Jesus conquered death!

"Now I have resurrection power
 Living on the inside
 Jesus, You have given us freedom
 No longer bound by sin and darkness
 Living in the light of Your goodness
 You have given us freedom"

Jesus died on the cross so we could be forgiven and so we could have eternal life when we put our trust in Him, that is AMAZING…. but it doesn’t end there. He also died so we could have freedom from our sin and from the burdens that weigh us down. Nothing is out of God’s reach, there is grace and forgiveness, healing and strength, when we put our trust in Christ. I never believed in that power until I experienced it. I literally experienced God walking me out of darkness and into the light. It is real, I know this because I lived it. We do not have to be slaves to our sin or burdens. Whatever you struggle with, you can have freedom because of Christ’s death on the cross. If He did it in my life, He can do it in yours. That’s the craziest part of my whole story, I didn’t even know how to read the bible when I started seeking God, I wasn’t even sure I was “praying correctly”, I was so insecure always wondering if I was “doing it right. I was so desperate I just kept seeking and in time I got more familiar and started slowly building trust in the Lord. It was seeking the Lord in scripture and in prayer that slowly renewed my mind, gave me self control and patience I never knew I could have, and walked me out of the darkest pit I had ever been in. If you are struggling, if you feel weak, if you are in the darkness, I’m telling you I was there too just a short time ago, but when you have your trust in the Lord you always have hope. Don’t give up! It will be when you seek the Lord that you will find freedom from the chains that keep you captive. In the Lord’s power you will no longer be bound by sin and darkness.

“ I pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come.” Ephesians 1:19-21

Chris Tomlin - Resurrection Power