Praise The One Who Set Me Free

I used to wake up scared and anxious most mornings. I settled into that routine and thought it was normal to allow my thoughts to consume and debilitate me. I’ve spent most of my life feeling overwhelmed with the battle I was up against each morning. I could not escape the thoughts, which frustrated me and often left me feeling weak and defeated. I would welcome the thoughts in and allow them to make a home in my mind. I would then dwell on the thoughts over and over again until I would make myself sick to my stomach. The more I focused on the fear and worry the more and more it consumed me. It was a vicious cycle and I didn't know how to break free from it.

It has been in recent years that I’ve found the strength to fight the battle in my mind. Just a short time a ago I didn’t know there was a battle that even needed to be fought....
Worse yet, even if I knew of the battle, I wouldn’t know how to fight it……I was pretty ill equipped and didn’t stand a chance of defeating the "giant" that stood in my way. In time I would learn that most of what I struggled with was a result of me not fighting the battle that was raging in my mind.... When I wasn’t fighting I was settling and when I settled I never saw any change or growth in this area of weakness. The top two things that I have learned recently that have completely changed my life have been...One, learning that there is an actual battle in my mind that needs to be fought and secondly, learning how to fight that battle.

When I say fight, I don’t mean using some sort of positive thinking strategy or trying to fight against the thoughts by not thinking about them or trying to think about something else (tried those things didn’t work for me). I also don’t mean saying a few prayers or reading a few bible verses, I used to get frustrated when that didn’t work either. When I say fight I mean I have completely surrendered my fight over to the Lord, I no longer fight in my own strength. I seek the Lord with my whole heart and I allow His Word to permeate my soul, my mind, and my thoughts. When I was going through the motions and my heart wasn't in it I never saw God's power at work in my life, it was only when I started passionately pursuing God that things started changing.

Seeking and knowing God has become my number one objective in this life. One reason for that is the fact that I am terrified to see who I would become without the Lord's strength and guidance. I've become so strong in my mind the last few years as I seek the Lord and have experienced such victory that I know it's not me who is fighting my battles. I know that my strength is not my own, it's the Lord who gives me the strength. I have to be dependent on Him if I want to keep slaying my "giants" and that's why the thought of ever drifting from Him terrifies me. If I went my own way and left God out of the equation I feel like I would no longer have the strength I needed to fight my battles. I never knew how to persevere or how to have victory in any of my battles until I started fighting with the Lords weapons and with Him along side of me. If I relied on myself and what I hear in my head daily, OH HECK NO... I wouldn’t stand a chance, I’d be done-zo ...My mind can be a hot mess at times, but it's God's truth in scripture that has had the power to redirects my thoughts and has paved a straighter path for me.

The more I study scripture the easier it is to spot the lies. I am now more cautious of what I let stay in my mind. I've learned that often I can not trust what I hear in my own head or trust my own feelings at times. My thoughts and feelings often lead me astray, but I have found that God is always trustworthy and when I go to Him, He never fails to lead me in the right direction... not only in my thought life, but in all areas of my life! The last few years I have been trying to break the habit of allowing the negative, fearful, and worrisome thoughts to make a home in my mind. Instead of trying to stop myself from thinking about what I am thinking about, I now give my thoughts over to God and then in place of the thoughts I use my mind to dwell on the scriptures. It might be through music, art, writing or reading, but I choose something to help me turn my focus back on the Lord and in return my worrisome, fearful and anxious thoughts slowly lose their power over me…It has taken so much discipline, but even when I don’t feel like seeking the Lord I do. Staying discipline in my pursuit has been key and it has been amazing to watch the Lord work in my life as I seek Him.

Regardless of how you struggle, know that you have power in the Lord to overcome any obstacle that stands in the way of you being all that God created you to be. When I tried to fight in my own strength it was too much for me, the anxious thoughts, the fear, the worry it devoured me, but learning to fight in the Lord’s strength has given me a new life. Just a short time ago my fear and anxious mind owned me. It stole my identity from me…It was fear who told me who I was.. My identity was formed on the lies that I would hear in my head....It's crazy how powerful thoughts are. They form your perspective and your reality, they make you who you are. It’s so important that we stay in the presence of truth and actively keep the lies of the enemy out of our mind. I’ve learned how essential it is to be aware of how my thoughts are leading me. Everyday I fight against thoughts that want to cripple me, ones that fill me with negativity, shame, fear and anxiety, or ones that lead me astray, tell me I’m not worthy or I am weak. Those thoughts are what we need to fight against and when we fight in the Lord's strength we will not be overtaken!

Hallelujah, praise the One who set me free 

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ