A few weeks ago my son was asking about sin and why people do naughty things. At first his questions were simple, but in time he finally hit me with a deep one, “ Mommy why do I do bad things?” “I want to do good things, but sometimes I can’t help it and I end up doing something naughty.” He expressed that his heart wants to do good, but even though he wants to do good there are still times that he falls short of that standard. My heart broke for him, but at the same time I was hopeful because he was already understanding that his soul craves something more than what he is capable of giving himself.
My son’s question got me thinking about humanity and our sin nature. It’s easy to turn on the T.V. and realize that people have a sin problem, we hear about it everyday: Sexual assaults, greed, scandals, killings, stealing, etc. It’s easy to see there is something wrong and broken about people. Why do we have to teach kids to be good? Why doesn’t that come natural? The only thing that has ever made sense to me is that we have a sin nature. I was thinking a lot about that recently. If we were never taught what good was, would we naturally do it? I’m not so sure we would. God gives us direction on what good is and if we didn’t have that foundation I feel like this world would be pure evil.
Most of my life I really had no need for Jesus because I never saw my own sin. Why would I need Jesus if I wasn’t a sinner? I had mastered the “good behavior” part and so I figured I didn’t struggle with sin. I would be kind when needed, friendly when I had to, I’d say the “right things” and go through the right motions, but it’s crazy how easy it is to fake it. I was so busy focusing on the outside, trying to perfect my behaviors that I was oblivious to the mess in my own heart. The bitterness, anger, jealousy, greed, selfishness… it was all there, but I didn’t think of it as sin. When I ignored the sin in my heart it only began to destroy my life, my marriage, my friendships, and my relationship with my kids.
I got so used to being discontent, jealous, selfish, angry, that it became my normal. I never actually knew that I could find freedom from it. I didn’t know there was a different way to live other than the life I was used to living. I remember buying our first home and being so excited when we moved in, but after a few months I was already discontent. I thought that was normal, so I just went with it. I used to buy new clothes and I would be super happy for about a week and then I would see something better that I wanted and the feeling of discontentment would creep in again. When my kids were toddlers I would be crazy mad all the time and I tried so hard to find patience, but I just couldn’t fix the anger that lie deep in my heart. In my marriage I started realizing how often I put myself first and that my selfishness was hurting our marriage. I hated the feeling of wanting to be different, but not knowing how to change. I never knew it was sin that was messing up my life. I spent all my time trying to fix the messiness striving to be different and better, but the striving never worked. I’d try and perfect my behavior, I’d implement the tips I got from parenting books, I’d practice things I learned in marriage classes, but nothing ever fixed the problem. That’s because those things don’t have power over sin, only God does.… God is the only one capable of cleaning up the mess in our hearts….
I want to teach my kids how important it is to seek God (honestly I want to teach anyone who will listen to me).. bahahaha...I want my kids to know that they don’t have to settle for average, but rather live a life free from the sin that wants to drag them under….I want to teach my kids that they have the power in Christ to be more than what comes natural to them. I want the same for my life. I don’t want to waste my time going through the motions, yet getting nowhere. I don’t want to be captive to my sin anymore. I want better…. I don’t want to compliment someone, yet in my heart feel jealousy. I don’t want to give or donate money because I feel I have to, I want to give because I want to. I don’t want to be angry all the time, but rather have real patience with my children instead of grinding my teeth and forcing a smile trying to get by. I don't want to feel restless all the time always wanting more, but what I want is genuine contentment that sits in the depth of my soul. I don’t want to harber bitterness, I want to be able to love deeper and more authentically. That’s what God can do in a person’s heart. I know it to be true because I've experienced him change my own heart. When I finally stopped striving for the life I thought I wanted and instead decided to allow God to work in my life, to my surprise I actually found my life to be far better than what I thought possible...I’m beginning to realize maybe God is more capable than I thought ;) It’s like He knows what’s best for me, knows who I was created to be, and knows me better than I know myself, who would have thought…♥️
Romans 3:23
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.
Romans 6:6-7
We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.
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