Rest for the Soul

In our culture, I see such a desire for wealth, success, prestige and fame. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our pursuit of beauty, better homes, more lavish vacations, a nicer wardrobe. Contentment and happiness seem to only come as a result of attaining more or better. If only I had __________(Fill in the blank)…... a better marriage, kids that behaved better, a bigger home, more money, a successful job…If only we could attain more or achieve better than finally we would be satisfied. I feel like that's the message in our culture and for that reason I've sought after all of the things I mentioned above. My desire was to somehow achieve the “ideal life”. I thought I'd somehow find contentment or fulfillment in perfecting my marriage, raising successful kids, finding the perfect job, designing an amazing home, getting into great shape, earning lots of money. I thought I had it all figured out ...

Living this way created so much discontentment in my heart. I was always disappointed when my kids would screw up, when my marriage wasn’t on par, when job opportunities were lacking, when I gained weight, when I wasn't eating as well as I should. I worked so hard to do better, but I could never figure out how to do it all. To perfect everything seemed impossible, there wasn't enough time in the day to work on all I thought I needed to work on. I had an expectation of what this life should look like and I pursued that vision. I assumed others had it perfected ... that they had it all figured out ...and me, yeah…. I was a hot mess.
I wanted what everyone else had, I compared and competed, always striving for more and better. I constantly lacked gratitude and was so focused on what I didn't have that it was impossible to see all that I did have.

The majority of my life has been spent seeking things of this world that I thought would provide me comfort, contentment and joy... but pursuing those things only left me tired, discontent and always craving more. As I learn to slowly surrender to the Lord putting my trust in Him, I see how effortlessly He provides for me. My pursuit of God has provided for me far more fulfillment than my pursuit of the "perfect life" ever did. My soul has always craved more and I always thought that meant I needed more of this world, but I've been finding that what my soul really needed and craved all along was more of the Lord.

As I grow closer to Him, I'm starting to realize that He is the One who can provide for me everything I need and I feel most content, hopeful, and at peace when:

I seek a perfect God,

rather than seeking a perfect life...

Let the Lord lead me, 

rather than following others...

Seek the Lord for guidance, 

rather than choosing my own way...

Trusting the Lord's truth in scripture, rather than that of this world…

Going to the Lord for comfort, 

rather than going to food, alcohol or people….

Resting in the Lord's promises,

rather than constantly worrying......

It's not always easy (it's a real struggle for me), but as I chose to be more intentional in my pursuit of God, I've experienced Him radically transform my thinking, my heart, and my desires. I've seen him grow me in my love for others, in my patience with my kids, in my selfishness. He's given me a better perspective, a more grateful heart, a healthier mindset, a more positive outlook, hope, strength and joy that I never thought possible. It gives me such peace knowing that He is at work in my life and that He is growing me into the woman, friend mother, and wife He created me to be.
The Lord knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we need before we even know we need it. He's all knowing, all powerful and present with us always. When we seek Him we will find contentment for our restless souls.