A couple weeks ago my daughter came home from school heartbroken over friends not wanting to play with her and feeling left out…. “Why is 2nd grade so much harder than 1st grade Mommy? Why does it seem like people are more unkind now, more than they were in kindergarten and first grade?” OH MAN, I knew this day was coming, but was still holding out hope that maybe it wouldn’t come so soon. The defeat and sorrow I saw in my daughter's eyes as she poured her heart out was heartbreaking. Tears rolled down her tiny little cheeks, as they did mine. We snuggled tightly and with every word she spoke, I deeply empathized with what she was going through. I’ve experienced that same sting of rejection plenty of times....along with the feelings of loneliness and sorrow that linger afterward.
As we spoke, I could sense my daughter and I were wishing for the same thing...That the world would be.. Just a little bit more kind…
but this broken world is just that... BROKEN. We will never see or experience perfection this side of heaven. We will endure hardships, pain and unkind people the rest of our lives. We will not only be on the receiving end, but also the ones responsible for hurting others. If it be unintentional or intentional we all hurt people. We are all imperfect and broken and that is so very obvious to me.
I was not upset with her friends for leaving her out because I see my own imperfections and weak areas along with my daughter's. I guess that helps me empathize instead of getting upset. We all fall short of perfection... That truth is a constant reminder to me that we cannot allow other people to define who we are. We cannot allow imperfect people to make us feel less than, unacceptable, unloved or not worthy. It's God who defines us, not other people.
At first I didn’t quite know how to respond to my daughter. I could have said many things that could have temporarily comforted her, but as we were laying there together... scripture began coming to my mind. That was when I asked my daughter, “Who are you a child of?” With a big smile on her face she responded, “I’m a child of God!” That prompted conversation about who the Lord says we are. We both began listing off what we remembered from scripture...I am worthy, I am deeply loved, I am totally accepted, God made me special, unique and beautiful.
OH how precious the faith of a child is... There was no hesitation, no doubt, no questions... As adults we begin to rely heavily on knowledge, our understanding, and circumstances. We question, we doubt, we can't wrap our mind around things, but a child's faith is beautiful. It was very encouraging to see my daughter believe so sincerely. She didn't question who God says she was! She was reminded of God's Words in scripture and she believed. I desire to have that kind of faith.... Faith like a child.
My daughter and I continued to talk about how easy it is to allow others to make us feel unworthy, unloved, and not accepted, but how we ought to look to the Lord to define who we are, not allow others to do that for us. As I was speaking to my daughter, I essentially was speaking to myself. Oh how easy it is to allow others to effect your mood by how they treat you, to define your worth, to make you feel stupid, ugly, or unloved. As the Lord led me in speaking to my daughter, I felt as though He was also speaking to me through those same scriptures. It is amazing how God works like that!
I reminded my daughter (reminder for me too) that in our times of heartache, pain and sorrow it is God we should be seeking. He will never fail us. I love that my daughter came to me and I want her to continue to come to me, but it isn’t my words that will comfort the deepest part of her soul. My love and affection, our snuggles felt good, but it wasn’t until I asked her who’s child she was that this beaming smile came out of nowhere, “I’m a child of God!!” ....I honestly thought she was going to say she was my child, Bahahah....Not sure where the conversation would have went from there.. LOL.... But hearing her say those words out loud was very powerful. My heart was filled with so much joy!
God is a personal God and I want others, along with my children to understand that God can permeate their whole lives and He is not just a God that meets us at church, but is available to us all the time. We have that access to the Lord only because of what Jesus did on the cross. He made a way for us. In John 14:6 Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." It's not by our good works, traditions, obeying rules or religion that somehow provide a way for us, It's our faith in Jesus that does.
“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. Acts 17:24-27
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